Uganda: AGONY – Why should my husband’s mother be my responsibility?

Mamos Media

My husband has siblings in Kampala who are well off and any of them can attend to their mother.

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How can I let them see that their mother should be their responsibility.

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My mother-in-law is elderly and she regularly comes for specialised treatment in Kampala.

My husband has siblings in Kampala who are well off and any of them can attend to their mother. My husband is the only boy and the heir of his father, and that makes it understandable that she would want to live at our home when she comes to Kampala.

However, what worries me is that everyone says they are too busy and they think I should cancel my programmes (even work) to transport their mother to doctors’ appointments.

Then on Sunday, her children come and pick her and take her out or to visit other relatives in Kampala.

I also have my own mother who needs my help sometimes and none of them helps me.

How can I let them see that their mother should be their responsibility, without them taking it badly?

Comments:

Ekelot Apollo • 3 hours ago

All the persons who have commented on the issue so far, seem to have missed the point about the lady’s worry which in her words, she says ” what worries me is that everyone says they are too busy and they think I should cancel my programmes (even work) to transport their mother to doctors’ appointments” The lady is looking for help from the children of the old lady. Yes an arrangement has to be found. Why should she be the one to run around then then on Sunday, the children come and pick her and take her out or to visit other relatives in Kampala. I suppose the children’s engagement should go beyond the the Sunday trots. The children are too busy for their mother and she is expected to be available to run around. What we should usually never forget are the underlying sentiments which is that “she should after all she is ‘our’ wife” None of those ladies would ever like to be treated the same way if their own mothers in law were to be loaded on to them the same way. My advise to the lady is to get the right moment to discuss the issue with her husband. This being a sensitive issue, she should not use words like ‘my responsibility’ ‘their mother’ because she will lose it all together. She should come from the mother in-law’s needs, to her own commitments and ensure that she demonstrates that she cares but in the circumstances she needs a helping hand. ReplyShare ›

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Ray6 hours ago

I acknowledge the burden you are expressing but want you to know that you are a mother too or to be perhaps given that you are married. If you are kind-hearted, it would be better to speak out to your husband about it…tell him how you are fine to help your mother-in-law but also need to be assisted by the other parties. Remember you may become a mother-in-law in future, how would you feel if your daughter-in-law behaved like that especially when you son was the your only one and heir to the family project? ReplyShare ›

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Nayenga18 hours ago

Interesting problem, while I appreciate the unwanted interuptions created by your mother-in-law’s health woes, I do not understand what you mean about her not being your husband’s problem. Your mother gave birth to her only son and heir who is your husband, are you suggesting that he stops helping his mother? Or rightly you are asking him to get more involved rather than leave her to you all the time? The later is a reasonable demand, but any suggestion of you expecting your husband to stop helping his mother is unreasonable coming from a woman who might be having sons of your own. I believe you are treading on slippery grounds, as for his sister’s behaviours that is a seperate issue altogether, unreasonable as it is.1 ReplyShare ›

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Charles Ngendanabo

Helping comes from inside you and I can’t say it’s a responsibility to help. Just help the old woman. God shall reward u. However if it hurts u, open it up, otherwise, it will hurt u more.

Source New Vision.

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